Number 3: You Avoid Conflict
Number three, this is the vibe that you are just putting out to the world that says, “Hey, hey toxic person! Hey, someone who’s narcissistic, like, come into my life, like, ruin it completely, like, destroy everything that I’ve worked so hard to build!” You just avoid conflict. Any person who is unhealthy has massive amounts of wounds.
They have insecurity. They are not confident in themselves. When you are not confident in yourself, you are not going to stand up for yourself. You don’t have boundaries. You don’t have standards like, none of those things exist.
So, if those don’t exist and you’re also not comfortable with confrontation and being able to, like, verbally communicate with other people on what you think, how you feel like all of that stuff then you’re just going to get walked all over. You’re going to avoid discussions. You’re going to avoid disagreements because there’s a fear that, “What if you leave me? What if you don’t like me?
What if you don’t do what it is that I’m asking you to do?” There’s just, like, such fear and insecurity there that it kind of, like, stops you, like, dead in your tracks. You’re going to excuse bad behavior. You’re going to overlook the drama. You may not even know that none of what you’re going through or seeing is okay. Or maybe, if you do, it’s just become the norm. It’s been how you were programmed that you just accept it.
A healthy person is going to bring up all of that stuff real fast. They’re not going to have a problem discussing anything, talking about their boundaries, enforcing boundaries like, they don’t have that kind of fear that you have. So, the shift that needs to happen is you just have to learn how to assert yourself. And asserting yourself takes practice because there are different layersFacials here do you struggle with your standards?
Do you not know what your standards are? Do you struggle with boundaries? Do you not know what they are? So, that’s, like, one piece. Then the other piece is, do you struggle with just, like, verbally communicating with another person and being able to go toe-to-toe with that person? You probably struggle with all of it, but if you don’t and you only struggle with maybe, like, one or two things, it’s just important to understand, “Where do I need to start first?”
This is, I think, where most people get a little, like, overwhelmed because they don’t know what to do to fix a problem. And that’s kind of where coaching comes in, and this is where you get that, like, handhold and that step-by-step thing because you’re working with someone
me, someone, anyone, or whatever. As long as someone knows what they’re talking about, then you’ll get results. The worst thing in the world is, like, being in therapy or doing something or working on something for a long time and, like, nothing’s changing.
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