The Agenda Behind The Narcissist’s Silence -

Number 3: Cause anguish.

Anguish is defined as extreme unhappiness caused by physical or mental suffering. When it comes to Narcissists and the silent treatment this anguish is for your mental destruction. Narcissists are sadistic and they enjoy seeing or just knowing that they are making someone suffer.

So, in this case, once again it is not about offending the Narcissist. This is the Narcissist just wanting you to suffer. And they will keep it up until you come crawling, begging them to reconcile. It is a major ego boost for the Narcissist knowing they can make someone suffer just by being silent. It is a sign of their control over that person.

So, whenever they are bored, your suffering will be their entertainment. The Narcissist knows the mental assault that they are putting you through. The many questions running through your head. What happened? What did I do wrong? And what did I say? Why are they not talking to me? What can I do to cheer them up? Am I not good enough? Are they cheating on me? And so forth and so forth.

The Silent Treatment can be very destructive to one’s self-worth and identity especially, when the Narcissist is giving the impression, that you did something wrong when you didn’t. But this is done to crush your confidence and make you feel worthless.

And the icing on the cake is that the Narcissist would prefer that you suffer in Silence. So, no confiding in anyone about what happens between the both of you. Otherwise, the Narcissist will deem it an act of treason. They see it as an utter betrayal if you try to talk about how they punish you or make you suffer.

You are expected to bear the abuse silently. And many of us have been there, especially when we were still hoping to make the relationship work or hoping things would get better. We may have remained loyal and suffered silently so that we did not ruin the hopes of the relationship getting better.

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But that is exactly how the Narcissist gets away with their abuse. When it is insidious abuse, it is hard to put it into words. It is hard to get people to understand how debilitating and traumatic it is. And the silent treatment is one of those things.

But to conclude, these are some of the things Narcissists are usually trying to accomplish with their silent treatments. They are scheming to get more attention, break us down, or obliterate some of us. Nothing good comes out of their silent treatments.

But their silent treatments are only effective when there is an emotional tie. This is why we need to break any emotional ties we have and free ourselves from the control and manipulations of the Narcissist.