To keep a narcissist from leaving you, you need to chain them to the radiator in the basement of your property. Aside from that, you should ask yourself the question: Why on earth do I want to keep a narcissist from leaving me?
When you realize that you are dealing with a narcissist, you must obey the first golden rule of freedom, which is: Once you know, you go. You get out and you stay out. The principle of “go.”
So, when you realize that you’re dealing with a narcissist, your priority should be affecting your immediate escape or planning for an intermediate escape, and thereafter, maintaining a no-contact regime so that you cannot be hoovered and you resist being drawn in and you resist the provision of fuel, character traits, and residual benefits, even if the narcissist is not hoovering to try and draw you back into the formal relationship with him or her.
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If you are asking yourself the question of how to keep a narcissist from leaving me, you are operating with emotional thinking. This is thinking that isn’t hysterical, but it is thinking in the absence of logic.
Logic tells you that since you’re dealing with a narcissist, this individual’s behavior towards you will never alter permanently. They will continue to abuse you in some form, and they do not love you, they do not care for you, and they are not interested in you for you.
We are only interested in asserting control over you, gathering fuel from you, character traits, and residual benefits, although the majority of narcissists, being unaware, don’t realize that’s why they’re doing it. They think that they love you; they think that they care for you; also, they think that they’re interested in you for you. But they are not. They cannot be because they are narcissists.
It might be that you want to stop the narcissist from leaving you because you want to keep them in situ, perhaps to exact some form of revenge upon them. And while at first blush that might appear to be a legitimate reason, it is not. You are being led by your emotional thinking, and you should not be doing anything that will prevent a narcissist from leaving you.
It might be that you believe that the relationship can be somehow salvageable, that you’ve been misled by the rubbish that is poured out by poor YouTube channels about the fact that somehow you can have a meaningful relationship with a narcissist. You cannot. Where it is an intimate relationship with the narcissist, the outcome is only ever going to be detrimental to you. Therefore, it is not logical to try and keep that relationship alive. It is not logical to try and keep the narcissist from leaving you.
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It might be that you form the view that something is better than nothing. That is emotional thinking. It might be that you think, well, although things aren’t good at the moment, they were once magical and wonderful, and with a bit of effort, we can both get back to that. That is emotional thinking.
You might think, well, I don’t want them to leave because it’ll create financial problems for me or difficulties for the children. Again, at first blush, they may look like legitimate reasons, but they are not. Your emotional thinking is seizing hold of those issues to utilize fear to keep you in place.
It might be that you believe that, notwithstanding the unpleasant behavior that the narcissist metes out toward you, there is some good in there. There is not, and that is emotional thinking.
There is no logical reason to maintain a relationship with the narcissist. And there is no logical reason to try and keep a narcissist from leaving you.
So, the first point is that if you are thinking, “Is there some way that I can keep a narcissist from leaving me?” you need to ask yourself, “Why on earth am I thinking that way?” The answer is your addiction to the narcissist as a consequence of being an empath results in the creation of emotional thinking, which in turn generates flawed logic, making you think that your decision-making is sound when it patently is not when viewed by an objective individual and affected by your emotional thinking.
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Thereafter, of course, even though you should not even be contemplating the possibility of keeping the narcissist from leaving you, you should also understand that you can’t do anything about it other than, as I say, chain the narcissist to the radiator in the basement.
Once the narcissist decides that they are going, they will go. It might be that the narcissist decided to end the relationship with you where your intimate partner secondary source or a non-intimate secondary source, your position of mistress has been terminated, and your friendship with the narcissist is terminated. That is unusual, and more often the narcissists might say that, but their action belies what is going on, and you’ve just been placed back on the shelf, and you’ll be hoovered off it again at some future point if you allow it to happen.
When you’re the intimate partner, the intimate partner’s primary source of the narcissist (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, cohabit, etc.), and the narcissist ends the relationship, you won’t even be told that that is happening. But whether the narcissist has done this or has decided to do this, then in such circumstances, not only should you not be trying to prevent it, but you can’t.
The simple fact is you are not in a position to control somebody who must not be controlled. Your actions will be perceived by the narcissist through that world’s lens of control as threatening that control. Your attempt to try and get the narcissist to stay will fail. You will end up fueling the narcissist; thus, the narcissist wins.
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You are likely to suffer an adverse consequence: the narcissist may turn violent with you, may give you a tongue lashing, may make unpleasant remarks about you, triangulate you unfavorably with the individual that they’re leaving you for, comment about other members of your family and your friends in an adverse way, denigrate you for your appearance, reject what you have to say, making you upset, hurt, frustrated, and angry.
And of course, by continuing interaction with the narcissist, you will increase your emotional thinking, which means you will not see things. No good can come of this continued interaction with the narcissist.
You cannot prevent a narcissist from leaving you. If the narcissist engages in the vault fast and then decides not to go, this isn’t because of what you have done. This isn’t because you’ve somehow threatened the narcissist so that he has to stay or that you have persuaded the narcissist so she stays.
All it is is that at that point, the narcissist’s need for the assertion of control has altered so that they determine through.
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