5. Discarding and Hoovering
Number five: discarding and hoovering. Now, let me explain this. Hoovering might be a little bit more self-explanatory that, if they hoover you and you come back, you’re just another form of supply, and they hooked you. But the discarding is one too. So, when I just talked about the negativity, there’s a huge part of the supply that I don’t hear anyone talk about, and it’s the drama, the negativity, the fighting, the back and forth, the reacting all of those things.
So, when you’re discarded and believe me, this is not easy to do because I’ve been there, so I know what it feels like to just walk away and be like, “Yep, that didn’t phase me,” because you loved that person, you were in a relationship with that person. But the longer you stay in the hatred, the longer you stay going back and forth, the arguments, the nasty whatever it is, you’re giving them supply.
I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth. ‘Cause the hoovering isn’t just about the romance of “let me see if I can get you back” or “let me see if you’ll sleep with me again.” The hoovering is also about just picking fights. “If I pick a fight with you if I’m a little unreasonable, will you cave? Will you just indulge in a nasty text messaging battle with me, going back and forth for hours and hours where then you’re exhausted, and I can feel a little sense of relief because I put all my stuff on you?” Narcissistic supply.
Understanding the Bigger Picture
What you have to remember about supply is a narcissist does not have one source of supply. They have many, many. They have the good ones, and then they have the drama-filled ones. It’s whatever they want to pick that day that’ll just give them a little attention. And it is about how they’re feeling at that moment.
