Pause and Reflect
Once you take a deep breath, then the next thing that you want to do is pause. You want to be very contemplative regarding the questions that someone is asking you. So, you take a deep breath, you pause, and then what I want you to do is think about what this person’s intentions are.
Reframe the Question
Another strategy that you can use is to just reframe the question and ask them the question back. Someone asking you, “Why are you five minutes late?” and maybe you’re not five minutes late, maybe the narcissist asked you to show up at that time.
But dealing with a narcissist, they may insinuate that they told you a different time, so you’re in a double-bind situation. You can’t win. You might take a deep breath, see it for what it is, hit the pause button, be contemplative, and ask them the question back: “So, you’re asking me why it is that I was five minutes late? Is that what you’re asking me?” That gives you time to pause.
It can be difficult to get in the habit of doing this, but the more that you do it, the easier it becomes. So, what you’re doing is reframing the question.
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