What Can You Do?
So, what can you do when you know that you’re in a situation with someone who is doing this to you?
Stay Calm With Deep Breaths
The first thing is to remain calm. The first thing is to rely on the one thing that you have complete control over in your life, that will keep the fight-or-flight response in check, and that is taking a deep breath. This is free no one can control it in you. Just taking a deep breath, maybe with a big sigh a couple of times, while you’re talking to someone who’s using rapid-fire on you, will immediately prevent your nervous system from going into fight or flight.
Now, remember: a narcissist wants you in fight or flight. When you are in fight or flight, when you are afraid, you could be rambling. Sometimes you are anticipating their next question, and that takes you into the future. So, rather than being present in the now and being strategic about the person that you’re dealing with, if you get, let’s say, an email from someone that triggers you, or your coworker is a narcissist or highly narcissistic and they’re questioning you, you can get truly defensive.
One of the easiest things that you can do and I think it is your superpower to disarm a narcissist, at least to disarm your nervous system towards a narcissist is to take a deep breath. Their agenda is to slide you into fight or flight, and when you take a deep breath, you’re saying, “You no longer have permission to trigger me. You no longer have permission to activate the amygdala. You no longer have permission to put me in a place where I’m defending myself to you.”
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