Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a narcissistic person explodes into a fit of rage, leaving chaos in their wake? It might happen at a gathering, a party, a meeting, or even a quiet evening at home.
The outburst could be so intense screaming loud enough to frighten the children or pets, threatening divorce, or even claiming they’ll call the police and accuse you of abuse that it leaves you stunned.
You might stand there, trying to de-escalate the situation, while neighbors overhear the commotion and check in out of concern. Whatever the trigger, the result is a messy, ugly scene that shakes your sense of stability and leaves you questioning the relationship entirely.
The Aftermath: Denial and Doubt
Once the storm passes sometimes later that day, sometimes the next the narcissistic person carries on as if nothing happened. No apology, no acknowledgment, no recognition of the havoc they wreaked. It’s as though the event has been erased from their memory.
You might even catch yourself wondering, “Did I imagine that? Could they have forgotten?” If you’re lucky, witnesses might confirm what you experienced, saving you from feeling completely unmoored. You might replay an audio or video recording to reassure yourself that your memory isn’t playing tricks. But the narcissist’s refusal to own their behavior? That’s gaslighting a denial of reality shoveled into what we’ll call “The Gaslight Drawer.”
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