Super empaths are known as the strongest empaths, and one reason is because of their amazing superpower against narcissists: The Empath Supernova. The term is inspired by supernovas in outer space, which occur when a massive star is about to die, giving its last, final “hurrah” – a giant explosion. The nuclear energy within the star burns fiery hot, even when it appears to be shrunken and void of life – just like a super empath after undergoing narcissistic abuse. They appear broken, but that just means they’re about to explode.
Stage 1: They begin to notice the patterns of abuse.
Once a super empath has endured enough gaslighting or other manipulations from a narcissist or another abusive type, they will notice a pattern of abuse. Super empaths are skilled at detecting this quickly, due to their high self-esteem not letting them tolerate it longer than they can handle. This is the first step in a super empath turning supernova.
They begin to connect the dots and recognize the pattern, noting all the times that they let the narcissist’s hurtful behavior slide because the super empath fell for their guilt trips or fake apologies. They become hypervigilant and skeptical of the narcissist’s words, looking for any hints of deceit or devaluation behind them. The more abuse they endure, the more their stellar energy burns brighter inside of them, preparing to explode.
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Stage 2: They begin reflecting on all the information they have on the narcissist to find something to hurt them with.
As the patterns of abuse continue to weigh down on the super empath, they begin to look back on their relationship with their abuser. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a parent, or a friend, they begin searching for moments where their abuser was caught being deceitful, when they showed vulnerability to specific criticisms or showed pride for a specific accomplishment that they’d hate to be torn down.
The super empath isn’t sure what they will do with the information at this moment, and in the beginning, the thought of using it to hurt the narcissist sounds impossible. But as we’ll see in the next step, their warm, gentle, kindness becomes extinguished over time.
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Stage 3: Instead of being empathetic, they begin to become cold and bitter.
As more time is spent around the toxic narcissist who absorbs their empathy for their own narcissistic supply, the empath will grow cold and bitter. Their natural instinct of wincing at the thought of hurting their loved ones becomes weaker, and instead, they feel a desire for it. Without their empathy, they appear like a hollow shell, void of any reaction toward their abuser’s devaluation or manipulations.
To the narcissist, it may appear as if they’ve destroyed the empath. They think they have smothered their spirit, their flame, that they have successfully broken them into another trophy for their collection. But if the narcissist is dealing with a super empath, their flame won’t burn out without a show. Like a supergiant star in the sky, the supernova explosion is just about to begin.
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Stage 4: Soon, they begin using the narcissist’s manipulations against them.
Without their usual empathy guiding them, the super empath begins to follow in the narcissist’s footsteps. It might start small, as if they’re dipping their toes in the water, with light teasing about a stain on their shirt, or gaslighting them by calling them silly for thinking their favorite TV show is funny. But soon, as they begin to revel in the same thrill the narcissist has been thriving on their whole life, they get harsher.
Soon, they act like a mirror, just like the Heyoka Empath, every time the narcissist uses their hurtful tactics against them. Their supernova energy burns hotter as they use their empathy against the narcissist, knowing exactly what will hurt them. Every memory they have of the narcissist they will use against them, knowing better than anyone which buttons to press and when.
Stage 5: Confidence grows inside the empath and they develop their self-worth.
Each time the super empath watches the narcissist’s boundaries shake as they perform their mental gymnastics, the empath’s confidence grows along with their supernova energy. Before, they were a shell with only a small ember flickering to keep them alive. But with each win over the narcissist, the fire smolders. Life is pumped back into the super empath.
They feel like they’ve been reincarnated and given a chance to create their own karmic revenge. The catharsis of each mind game that they successfully win fuels the empath even more. They begin remembering who they were before the narcissist. They remember their own passions, beliefs, and morals, not those of their abuser. Hope for a new life without being emotionally depleted from trying to please a narcissist appears around the corner.
A future away from them scares them, because they are usually dependent on the narcissist in some way, whether it is family or their romantic partner. Even scarier though, is what needs to come first. The final narcissistic rage. But they know that it is the only way to survive even though it feels wrong to hurt someone they once loved, or even still love, dearly. Once the image of a bright, hopeful future manifests itself in the super empath’s mind, they know it is their only option.
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Stage 6: They completely stop giving them validation and become brutally honest, remaining in their empath supernova phase until the final narcissistic rage.
At this point, the super empath is mean. The innocent, sweet empath that was once there has turned into a cold, jaded, and spiteful version of themselves, mirroring the narcissist’s reflection perfectly. No longer is there a trace of compliment, but rather harsh, brutal, honest truths of how much the super empath resents them.
Eventually, the narcissist begins their final rage, not expecting it to be their last. They think they can outsmart the empath’s supernova. But in the super empath’s grand finale, they will channel every bit of the narcissist within them. Their newfound confidence will aid their defense mechanisms, making them even stronger than the narcissist, because the empath’s confidence is real.
The narcissist will begin throwing everything they have against the super empath at them, using the cruelest language and harshest tone. All of their maliciousness will spew from them, expecting the super empath to crumble and beg for forgiveness, to go back into their former shell. But the empath remains still and unfazed. They know the narcissist’s secrets; they know that the insults don’t mean anything to anyone outside of them.
The super empath’s biggest strength over the narcissist at this point is that they don’t value their ego highly. They are humble but confident. They remember who they were before the narcissist entered their lives, and know that they’re a good person, regardless of the gaslighting they endured. The narcissist is shaken by the lack of response to their best work. And that is when the supernova is ready for its final show, and the empath explodes. Every single weak spot the narcissist has is pushed. Every insecurity they ever felt is thrown back in their face.
They try to defend themselves, but the super empath was in the supernova state for so long, gathering evidence against every rebuttal the narcissist could have, that they are cornered. Suddenly, the super empath holds all the power, and the narcissist is depleted. Their ego can’t handle honest criticism anymore, every harsh word is like venom through their veins. They are scared of the super empath, as for the first time they see themselves in the mirror.
They realize that the empath has stolen all their tricks, and that combined with their own personal strength and self-esteem that couldn’t be crushed, they’re stronger. The narcissist will then become the one cowering and begging for forgiveness. They promise they can change. But the empath has heard it all before. And that’s when they give the final blow of rejection, the last bit that is needed to destroy the narcissist. After feeling exposed and broken down by the empath, rejection feels near fatal to a narcissist, and they usually flee, leaving the empath peacefully alone.
Stage 7: Once they have successfully destroyed the narcissist, they may fear they won’t return to their normal empathic state.
A scary worry for a super empath after showing their supernova state and escaping the narcissist’s abuse is that they might not be able to get rid of their own narcissistic traits. The warmth they once felt still hasn’t replaced the cold bitterness that continues to fill their bodies.
They’re more sarcastic and cynical toward their friends and occasionally catch themselves acting manipulatively. Some describe this experience as “narcissistic fleas”. Basically, after an individual has endured abuse for an extended time, they begin to absorb the same traits. This is necessary to perform the empathic supernova, so it makes sense that they might have a hard time shaking it afterward.
If you or someone you know have experienced abuse and are struggling with feeling the way you used to beforehand, we highly recommend talking to a therapist. Narcissistic abuse can be very traumatic and leave lasting impacts on an individual if they don’t have the tools to process it.
Stage 8: Eventually, they grow and become stronger from the experience.
Once the super empath has escaped and talked to a therapist or their loved ones for support, they will begin to feel like their old self. Although, it is important for the super empath to recognize that they can never return to who they were before.
Abuse can change a person. It might feel like they have a bit of a jaded edge to them afterward, but that is simply a sign of their strength, not a lack of empathy. With the experiences learned from destroying the narcissist, they feel wiser, more confident, more competent, and more positive that they’ll never let another narcissist break down their boundaries again.
