7 Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Of You -

Number 1: Fake Apology.

This behavior is particularly insidious because it creates the appearance of genuine remorse, while in reality, it is far from a true admission of guilt or commitment to change. A narcissist’s fake apology may sound like an apology, but it doesn’t explicitly acknowledge what was done or take responsibility for harmful actions. Phrases like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if you interpreted things that way” are common.

These are not real apologies because they shift the responsibility for the hurt or misunderstanding onto the injured person and suggest that the offense is a matter of perception rather than concrete behavior.

Moreover, these apologies are usually not accompanied by genuine behavioral changes. Narcissists may over-apologize if it allows them to maintain an image of goodwill or if it is strategically advantageous, but they soon return to their old patterns.

The real purpose of these apologies is to manipulate and regain control so that the narcissist can continue their abusive behavior without real consequences. So when a narcissist offers a fake apology, it’s usually a sign that they are trying to regain lost control by using superficial remorse as a means to regain trust and prolong the dysfunctional dynamic.

Number 2: Hoovering and Discarding.

This cycle is one of the most characteristic and harmful manipulations narcissists use to maintain power over their victims. In the hoovering phase, the narcissist behaves exemplary and displays all the charming qualities that initially led the victim to fall in love with or trust them. They may appear extremely attentive, loving, and committed, reminiscent of the idealization phase at the beginning of the relationship.

This behavior is a calculated attempt to draw the victim back into the cycle of abuse and exploit any lingering feelings. However, once the narcissist feels they have regained the victim’s control and attention, the discarding phase begins. This phase can be sudden and cruel, with the narcissist withdrawing affection and attention, often leaving the victim confused, hurt, and destabilized. The goal is to leave the victim in a vulnerable emotional state and reinforce their emotional and psychological dependency on the abuser.

This pattern of hoovering and discarding is an intense manipulation that can have devastating effects on the victim’s self-esteem and mental health, as they find themselves trapped in a cycle of pain and reconciliation. The uncertainty and interruption of these interactions ensure that the victim remains hopeful and attached to the narcissist, unable to break the cycle without outside help or significant intervention.

5 Tell Tale Signs Of Narcissistic Collapse

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