Number four: Apologize for Poor Behaviors
So, this might sound something like, “I admit that I lied and deceived you the entire time of our relationship. When you attempted to confront me about my behavior, I resorted to a series of defense mechanisms to avoid accountability and maintain your loyalty to me. But the truth is, I never had any loyalty to you.
I saw you as replaceable, disposable, as a servant who would let me get away with anything as long as I could get you to buy into my intricate web of lies and coverups. You didn’t deserve to be treated so badly, but because of my disorder, I easily justified my actions, telling myself I was simply protecting myself from your attacks.”
Now, a narcissist is not going to own up to their deceitful ways, which sometimes are instinctive defense mechanisms and other times are simply malicious and self-serving. But intentional or not, learning about the narcissist’s web of deception can help you see the relationship for what it was: a dynamic built on deceit rather than on love.
Above all else, it can help you realize that your loyalty and sense of obligation were misplaced, and the best thing to do now would be to break free from the psychological hold that your narcissistic ex has on you and invest in your well-being and healing.
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