In today’s article, I’m talking about things that a man would need to hear from a female covert narcissist after a breakup to help them resolve cognitive dissonance and break the trauma bond. I will also explain why, never in a million years, will you ever hear these admissions from your narcissistic ex.
Also, I want to give special thanks to the anonymous contributor who shared his insights about his experiences with a female covert narcissist. I’ve adopted and included many of his reflections in this article. Okay, so let’s dive right in, but again, keep in mind that you will not hear these things from a female covert narcissist in reality, and I’ll tell you why.
Number one: They Won’t Recognize Toxic Patterns
So, in this ideal imaginary world where a narcissist could see themselves as they are, they might say something like, “At the beginning of our relationship, I love- and se*x-bombed you, as I have done with all of my past partners. I made you believe that you were the love of my life, my soulmate, the one and only.
Um, and I wanted to believe this too, but deep down, I knew that it was all part of my toxic relationship patterns and that all you would ever get from me was an inescapable nightmare. The truth is, I have a proven track record showing, time and time again, that I am incapable of an honest and authentic relationship.
I just don’t feel love like others do. So, try to understand that I am pre-programmed to see myself as a victim and destroy you when you inevitably fail to meet my unrealistic expectations. It is a tragic cycle, and I hope you can find a way to see it for what it is and break free from the illusion that I could ever provide the genuine connection and love that you deserve. Don’t let your addiction to me ruin your future opportunities to be happy.”
Okay, so although this is hypothetical, such an admission would be helpful because it would make you realize that a narcissist’s behavior is not personal but rather part of a consistent and destructive pattern. In reality, they’ll never admit to their toxic patterns, even if they were aware of them, because this would require them to face uncomfortable truths about themselves that challenge their facade of perfection and superiority.
So, the important thing to remember is that their inability to sustain a genuine, healthy relationship is a result of their disorder and has little, if anything, to do with you. This understanding can help you detach from any lingering self-blame, stop the rumination and wishful thinking, and allow you to move forward with your life.
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