When you find yourself on edge around special occasions due to a particular individual who’s going to ruin it in some way, and you walk on eggshells to try and avoid that happening, it is more likely that you are dealing with a narcissistic individual. They go all out to ruin special occasions because it’s not about them they’re not in the spotlight, they’re not getting the attention, or they’re envious of the person who is.
Genuine Disinterest vs. Narcissistic Behavior
Now, you can have various people who dislike special occasions. However, they will be quite honest, saying, “It’s not really for me. You go, have a good time. Honestly, don’t worry about me. I want to stay and watch the football. I’ll see you when you get home. Send my apologies and explain it’s not my thing.” When you get home, they’re like, “How was it?” and they’re willing to listen to you. They just don’t want to take part.
With a narcissist, they will pretend to care and then ruin it. Narcissistic individuals often target special occasions to shift the attention back onto themselves and regain control over the situation. There are many tactics they use to ruin a special occasion.
Tactics Narcissists Use to Ruin Special Occasions
1. Creating Drama
One of the first tactics is creating drama. Narcissists will instigate arguments and conflicts right before or during the event. This diverts attention away from the celebration and onto the narcissist’s manufactured crisis. They might drag their feet before you go, purposefully making you late. They’re looking to provoke you, to bait you into emotionally reacting to them. Then they can stand there and say, “Oh, why do I want to go anywhere with you?”
You’ll often notice that once they’ve got you going, wound you up, and ruined it for you, they’re suddenly happy again because they’ve regained control of the situation. They will pick fights over trivial matters, bring up past grievances, or provoke some form of emotional response to regain control over themselves and the situation.
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