3. Narcissists twist facts or reality.
Have you ever doubted your feelings or memory after talking to someone? One of the biggest clues that you’re dealing with a narcissist is when they start questioning your reality and perception. You might say, “I remember you said this,” and they’ll respond, “No, I never said that; you’re imagining things.” Suddenly, you’re second-guessing yourself, thinking maybe you got it wrong.
This mind-bending tactic is known as gaslighting, and it’s a favorite tool of narcissists. Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect, describes gaslighting as “the ultimate mind game.” Gaslighting is a sneaky way for narcissists to stay in control; they keep you off balance by brainwashing you. They enjoy messing with your sanity.
Related: 7 Indicators of Mental Abuse by Narcissists
When a narcissist tries to gaslight you, the best thing you can do is stay calm and assertive. Don’t let them see you sweat. Politely but firmly stand your ground by saying, “I remember it differently,” or “I don’t agree with your version of events.” This helps you maintain your sense of reality and shows them that you’re not an easy target. If narcissists continue to gaslight you, documenting your conversations can be a lifesaver. Write things down, save texts, and keep emails. This way, when they try to twist reality, you have proof to back up your memories. Remember, they thrive on creating doubt and chaos, so staying steady is critical.
4. Narcissists will give you unsolicited advice.
Have you ever received advice from someone you never asked for? Sometimes, we only need a friend to listen to us without judgment. One of the clues that you’re dealing with a narcissist in conversation is when they start offering unsolicited advice. They act like they’ve got life all figured out and can’t wait to enlighten you with their wisdom. It’s like having an unwanted life coach, except instead of helping you, their advice is more likely to get you into trouble.
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