Number 1: Losing control.
One thing that makes a narcissist panic is realizing they’re losing control over someone or something that they previously had under their control. They believe that the world revolves around them and that people around them are put there to serve their needs, feed their egos, listen to their problems, and benefit them in some way.
When people around them finally wizen up to the narcissist’s manipulation tactics and start to take their power back, the narcissist becomes frantic because losing control over people and situations makes them feel powerless. Let me give a couple of examples of how they may realize they’re losing control in different situations. They realize they’re losing control in romantic relationships when they can no longer deceive their partners with their lies and manipulation tactics.
They panic when their partner takes their power back and calls them out for their bad behavior when their partner starts forging their own path and doing things that benefit them, not the narcissist, and when they no longer allow the narcissist to be the puppet master in the relationship. This is one reason why the no-contact rule works so well in ending a relationship with the narcissist.
With no contact, the narcissist can no longer manipulate or control you with their words, gaslighting, or other tactics. They realize they’re losing control at work when they’re moved from or are no longer in a position of power. This makes them panic because being in a position of power gives them control; it feeds their ego. It’s also another way the narcissist garners narcissistic supply, without this constant fuel, they feel empty inside.
They can also panic and feel like they’re losing control at work when they get a new boss who doesn’t view them as special as their previous boss did. They realize they’re losing control and start to panic as their children get older and become more independent. At some point, their children will start forming their own opinions and following their own paths, which will likely be different than the path the narcissist wants them to follow.
Narcissists don’t look at their children as individuals, but instead, they see them as extensions of themselves. Losing this control over their kids will make the narcissist panic because they’ve been a dependable source of supply for them for years and now, are slowly being taken away. This is something they never thought would happen.
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