Number 1: Never Want to Give You Up
And the first thing the Narcissist wants or expects is that they continue to have access to you. Forget about the fact that they may have mistreated you, ghosted you, cheated on you, or cast you aside like you were yesterday’s news. All of that means nothing to the Narcissist. They still want to know they can call you or show up at your door whenever they feel like it.
It may take days, weeks, months, or even years for them to make contact, but just knowing they can is what makes them feel like they still have control over you. And this is why, even if it was the Narcissist who discarded you, establishing No Contact is so important. Because it is something they do not expect you to do. But it is the best thing you can do if you can.
Read More:
5 Narcissism Code Words You Need To Know
5 Tell Tale Signs Of Narcissistic Collapse
Number 2: The Closer the Better
The second thing that some Narcissists expect is that you remain friends or, better yet, friends with benefits. Having access to you is one thing, but both of you still spending time together and even sleeping together is the ideal situation for the Narcissist. Keeping their exes on speed dial is what the Narcissist would prefer, as it makes them feel desired or wanted by many. It feeds their ego when they can maintain this type of relationship with an ex-partner.
When this happens, the Narcissist can fulfill their next desire, which is triangulating you with their New Supply. The amount of drama and jealousy that the Narcissist can stir up between the ex and a new supply brings so much delight to their wicked hearts. Now, they have at least two people who they can maintain and control at the same time to generate as much dark narcissistic supply as they want.
For those who do not know, I have always separated the Narcissistic Supply Narcissists crave into two categories. I call them negative or dark narcissistic supply and positive narcissistic supply. The positive includes any compliments, praise, recognition, etc. The negative supply is what they get from hurting, lying, and manipulating others.
But triangulating an ex with a new supply is a game they like to play. It usually starts with regularly talking to either about the other, positively or negatively. Either way, the new supply is bound to have feelings of dislike or resentment towards the Narcissist’s ex-partner.
Related: 7 Indicators of Mental Abuse by Narcissists
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