Narcissists are people with great expectations. This is why they are always disappointed or feel that people are failing, attacking, or hurting them somehow. They live their lives putting certain expectations on the people around them. They expect to get whatever they want from you. They expect you to do whatever they want.
They expect you to do everything in your power to keep them happy. They expect you to keep loving them and be there for them no matter how they treat you. And regarding today’s topic, their expectations continue even after they discard you. So, I am going to be getting into a few things that the Narcissist wants to happen and even expect to happen after they discard you.
Number 1: Never Want to Give You Up
And the first thing the Narcissist wants or expects is that they continue to have access to you. Forget about the fact that they may have mistreated you, ghosted you, cheated on you, or cast you aside like you were yesterday’s news. All of that means nothing to the Narcissist. They still want to know they can call you or show up at your door whenever they feel like it.
It may take days, weeks, months, or even years for them to make contact, but just knowing they can is what makes them feel like they still have control over you. And this is why, even if it was the Narcissist who discarded you, establishing No Contact is so important. Because it is something they do not expect you to do. But it is the best thing you can do if you can.
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Number 2: The Closer the Better
The second thing that some Narcissists expect is that you remain friends or, better yet, friends with benefits. Having access to you is one thing, but both of you still spending time together and even sleeping together is the ideal situation for the Narcissist. Keeping their exes on speed dial is what the Narcissist would prefer, as it makes them feel desired or wanted by many. It feeds their ego when they can maintain this type of relationship with an ex-partner.
When this happens, the Narcissist can fulfill their next desire, which is triangulating you with their New Supply. The amount of drama and jealousy that the Narcissist can stir up between the ex and a new supply brings so much delight to their wicked hearts. Now, they have at least two people who they can maintain and control at the same time to generate as much dark narcissistic supply as they want.
For those who do not know, I have always separated the Narcissistic Supply Narcissists crave into two categories. I call them negative or dark narcissistic supply and positive narcissistic supply. The positive includes any compliments, praise, recognition, etc. The negative supply is what they get from hurting, lying, and manipulating others.
But triangulating an ex with a new supply is a game they like to play. It usually starts with regularly talking to either about the other, positively or negatively. Either way, the new supply is bound to have feelings of dislike or resentment towards the Narcissist’s ex-partner.
Number 3: Forever Stuck
They want you to be depressed or permanently sad as a result of their departure. They want you to blame yourself. They want you to remain alone and just stuck on every level. That is why getting over the Narcissist is essential. You must decide that the Narcissist leaving is not the end of your life. There is still so much more you can do and accomplish. Happiness can finally be yours now without them in your life. Success is the best revenge.
The Narcissist does not want you to move forward, and in some cases, they do not expect you to. They want you to continually cry over them, long for them and even beg them for another chance. You have to knock their expectations aside, pick yourself up, and start again. I’m not saying it is going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
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Summary and Final Thoughts
To conclude, as you can see, these are some of the main expectations of the Narcissist after a breakup or a discard. And even though the Narcissist’s Discard can be a very hurtful and confusing time, they can only still think about what more they can get from you. But you do not have to entertain what they want.
Knowing what your options are at the end of a Narcissistic Relationship is so important in helping you to heal and move forward. You get to finalize in your mind how you are going to deal with this person. Are you going to cut them off completely, have extremely limited contact with them, or grey rock your way through?
Read More: 10 Signs You Are Talking to a Covert Narcissist
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