The first thing is that they need you more than you need them.
Covert narcissists cannot be alone when left alone. They are tormented by their thoughts. They suffer from paranoia, thinking someone or something is always out to get them. They need someone who can reaffirm their existence and importance. There is a darkness that overshadows them when they are alone, the end of overthinking everything.
Marriage offers covert narcissists a level of security that money cannot buy. That is why you will find that many victims of narcissism are people who have been married to a covered narcissist or in a long-term relationship with one. But what happens when a covered narcissist is not married or in a long-term relationship? Well, things can go from bad to worse. This is because they are unable to get rid of the negative energy that they have, and it overtakes them.
So even though in public, they are being smiley and chirpy, if there is someone they have an issue with, they are not able to better contain it or hide it. They will not confront the person but instead try to avoid them. You may even catch them glaring at the person in disgust. Hear the cracks if you are vigilant instead.
Another important thing to note is that, from my experience, it seems most covert narcissists are also co-dependent. This is very important to know and can be utilized for your benefit if you are in a relationship with one. Even when they make you angry, your response shows that you care. You are reacting because they matter. So that’s enough to fuel their need for acceptance.
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