Number 6: “You’re not listening.”
Narcissist talks a lot; they talk too much. They want to be the center of attention because they’re narcissists. If you tell them, “You’re not listening,” you confront them with this truth: “Yes, I’m not listening.” When they realize that you’ve understood that others don’t matter to them and that what matters is them and their image, they get angry.
When you say, “You’re not listening,” the narcissist will turn it around and accuse you of not listening. It’s interesting if you take these thirteen phrases, you’ll see. The last one is the one that will anger the narcissist the most. The narcissist is the person who will be able to say these phrases to you and turn them around on you. It’s a mechanism of projection, narcissistic defense—they project.
Number 7: “It’s your fault.”
The narcissist hates feeling guilty. They always shift the blame onto their victim. The victim is their dumping ground to avoid regret, to avoid guilt, and to avoid feeling guilty. They need a scapegoat; they need a victim. When you tell them, “It’s your fault,” you’re breaking down everything they’ve always done by telling them, “It’s your fault.”
They don’t want to feel guilty, and if you say it in public, you’ll see them start to get upset. It’s interesting to take a step back if you’ve ever experienced this with a narcissist. Observe the narcissist when they start to get angry, and you’ll see their face change.
Their jaw clenches, and their eyes, and gaze become cold. You can feel at that moment that there’s a narcissistic rage. You can see it on their face. It’s incredible how much you can perceive it. It’s complicated at first; you have to be careful not to misinterpret things, but with practice, you can notice changes in the face of a narcissistic person.
Number 8: “What you did wasn’t that great.”
It’s not that impressive. Imagine they just bought a car, and you tell them, “Your car isn’t that great.” They just came out of the gym, and you say, “Well, it’s not that great; there’s not much change.” They just passed a test and succeeded, and you tell them, “Yeah, but you could have done better. You didn’t get the highest score.”
This will anger them because they want to be the best; they want to be the first, at least in their fantasy. In their fantasy, they’re the best, and if you shatter this idea of grandeur that they have of themselves, you’re going to anger them. This will upset them.
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