In today’s topic, I’m going to share with you 13 phrases that anger narcissists. But first, an important warning: these phrases are dangerous. They are dangerous in the sense that I’m not encouraging you to go find a narcissist and say these phrases to them to see their reaction. That’s not the purpose of this article.
The intention is to give you these thirteen phrases to better understand the narcissist, to say, “Okay, why do these thirteen phrases anger the narcissist?” We’re going to learn to better understand the mind of a narcissist. So the idea is really to know more about how they function, not to take these phrases and play around with them against the narcissist. So, let’s begin.
Number 1: “Everyone has their opinion; we have the right to disagree.”
That’s the kind of phrase that will anger the narcissist. Why? You see, a normal person, when you tell them, “We have the right to disagree; everyone has their own opinion,” someone like me would say, “Yes, that’s true, very well, you’re right. We have the right to disagree, and everyone has the right to disagree because all human beings are different, and luckily, opinions differ.”
But in the mind of a narcissist, this truth is not conceivable. It doesn’t exist for the narcissist. They are always right in every circumstance because if they are God, God is always right. If you go to God and tell them, “Everyone has their opinion,” God won’t be happy. Similarly, the narcissist isn’t happy if you tell them, “We have the right to disagree.” This will anger them, especially in public.
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Number 2: “That’s not true.”
It’s not true. If a narcissist says something and you respond, “Nonsense, what you’re saying isn’t true at all,” what will happen? You will anger them. Why? Because a narcissist hates being contradicted, especially regarding their lies. They hate being exposed, especially in public. If you’re in public and the narcissist is there with a group of friends, and you notice they’re telling a big lie and it’s not true at all, you say, “That’s not true,” then you’re contradicting their entire being.
A narcissist, in every circumstance, wants to escape reality. They live in a fantasy, constantly telling themselves lies to believe they are perfect. So they create lies that align with their fantasy. If you tell them, “That’s not true; you’re talking nonsense,” you break their fantasy for two seconds. Those two seconds are terrible for a narcissist because they are confronted with their emptiness and lies.
This will anger them because, once again, they cannot introspect and say, “Maybe there’s a problem with what I’m saying; maybe I’m the problem.” To avoid confronting reality and their lies and saying, “I’m guilty,” they immediately activate their rage and turn the situation against you, blaming you instead.
Number 3: “It’s none of your business.”
If you see a narcissist talking about something, they approach you, and you say, “That doesn’t concern you; it’s none of your business.” Again, the narcissist thinks they’re God; God knows everything and must know everything. So if you tell God, “It’s none of your business,” it won’t go well. The narcissist is the same; “It’s none of your business.”
The narcissist wants to be the center of attention, which is something you’ve probably already noticed. They want to be the center of attention. Now, depending on the type of narcissist, an extroverted narcissist will want to be the center of attention in a group, but even an introverted one will seek attention and try to know everything.
The narcissist hates not being the center of attention. They would hate the idea that three people know the truth, but they don’t. Once again, the narcissist doesn’t differentiate between themselves and others. To them, everyone is an extension of themselves, so they need to know everything. The idea that the other isn’t them is terrible because, for them, they belong to everyone; they are everyone. It’s a bit strange to hear, but that’s exactly what the narcissist thinks about relationships and others.
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Number 4: “You’re mean.”
The moment you say this to a narcissist, they will immediately try to turn the situation around because narcissists love to portray themselves as the victim. If you tell them they’re mean based on what they’ve done, the narcissist constantly tries to mask their true appearance, always trying to pass themselves off as the good person, the best person.
They hate the idea of people around them thinking they’re the mean ones. They will do everything to make you look like the mean one. This is terrible for them because the narcissist has always sought to construct, not their personality, but their appearance, to make that appearance perfect in the eyes of the world. So if you tell them, “You’re mean,” you break, once again, their fantasy and the appearance they’ve created.
Number 5: “Stop playing the victim.”
This is terrible. You know narcissist likes to portray themselves as the victim. The moment you say this to them, you’re telling them, “I know you’re pretending.” You’re saying, “I’ve figured out your game.” The narcissist will hate this because, at that moment, they realize they’ve lost control. This is terrible for them. Again, with all these phrases, I’m not encouraging you to say them it’s not a good idea.
Number 6: “You’re not listening.”
Narcissist talks a lot; they talk too much. They want to be the center of attention because they’re narcissists. If you tell them, “You’re not listening,” you confront them with this truth: “Yes, I’m not listening.” When they realize that you’ve understood that others don’t matter to them and that what matters is them and their image, they get angry.
When you say, “You’re not listening,” the narcissist will turn it around and accuse you of not listening. It’s interesting if you take these thirteen phrases, you’ll see. The last one is the one that will anger the narcissist the most. The narcissist is the person who will be able to say these phrases to you and turn them around on you. It’s a mechanism of projection, narcissistic defense they project.
Number 7: “It’s your fault.”
The narcissist hates feeling guilty. They always shift the blame onto their victim. The victim is their dumping ground to avoid regret, to avoid guilt, and to avoid feeling guilty. They need a scapegoat; they need a victim. When you tell them, “It’s your fault,” you’re breaking down everything they’ve always done by telling them, “It’s your fault.”
They don’t want to feel guilty, and if you say it in public, you’ll see them start to get upset. It’s interesting to take a step back if you’ve ever experienced this with a narcissist. Observe the narcissist when they start to get angry, and you’ll see their face change.
Their jaw clenches, and their eyes, and gaze become cold. You can feel at that moment that there’s a narcissistic rage. You can see it on their face. It’s incredible how much you can perceive it. It’s complicated at first; you have to be careful not to misinterpret things, but with practice, you can notice changes in the face of a narcissistic person.
Number 8: “What you did wasn’t that great.”
It’s not that impressive. Imagine they just bought a car, and you tell them, “Your car isn’t that great.” They just came out of the gym, and you say, “Well, it’s not that great; there’s not much change.” They just passed a test and succeeded, and you tell them, “Yeah, but you could have done better. You didn’t get the highest score.”
This will anger them because they want to be the best; they want to be the first, at least in their fantasy. In their fantasy, they’re the best, and if you shatter this idea of grandeur that they have of themselves, you’re going to anger them. This will upset them.
Number 9: “You’re jealous.”
Why does this make them angry? Because telling them this is another truth. The narcissist is jealous. They’re jealous when they see someone—it depends on the type of narcissist. If you’re dealing with a narcissist who pays attention to their appearance and sees someone who dresses better, and wears better band rands, they’ll be jealous in the sense that they’ll want to have what the other person has, but they won’t admit it because admitting it would show weakness, that they’re inferior.
So they’ll start to engage in narcissistic rage and projection, saying, “They’re jealous of me.” You might be dealing with a narcissist who doesn’t care about clothing or appearance. In that case, you might have a narcissist who’s focused on intellect or education. If you show them that someone is more knowledgeable than them, they’ll start to say, “No, they’re the ones who don’t understand anything. They’re pretentious; they’re arrogant.” They’ll start to rage because you’ve broken their sense of superiority. For them, their existence depends on being the best.
Number 10: “You’re not the center of the world.”
You’re not the center of the world. “I’m going to take care of myself today; I don’t need you anymore.” This will anger them because, as we’ve said before, the narcissist wants to be the center of attention. They want to be the most important person, especially in their relationships. So when you tell them, “You’re not the center of my world,” they’ll panic. They’ll feel like they’ve lost control over you.
Number 11: “You’re lying.”
A narcissist hates being caught in a lie because, as we’ve mentioned, they live in a fantasy world. They create lies to maintain their illusion of grandeur, and if you catch them in a lie, you’re attacking their entire self-image. This will make them defensive, and they’ll try to turn the situation around by accusing you of being the liar.
Number 12: “I don’t need you.”
The narcissist thrives on making others dependent on them, on feeling needed. If you tell them, “I don’t need you,” you’re taking away their power, and this will infuriate them because they rely on others’ dependency to feel important.
Number 13: “I’m happy without you.”
Telling them this is like delivering the ultimate blow. It tells them that you’ve broken free from their control, that they no longer have power over you, and that you can find happiness on your own. This devastates their ego, and they will react strongly because it goes against everything they believe about themselves and their importance.
Read More: 5 Ways To Win Against a Narcissist
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