10 Subtle Manipulation Tactics of Covert Narcissists

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5. Withholding Information

By keeping you in the dark, covert narcissists create chaos and maintain control. They might “forget” to tell you about a change in plans, leaving you scrambling or feeling excluded. When confronted, they’ll play innocent “I told you last week!” or shift the blame, shaming you for not being on top of things. This imbalance of knowledge keeps you off-balance and dependent on their version of reality.

6. Weaponizing Incompetence

Ever notice someone pretending to be helpless when you know they’re perfectly capable? This is weaponized incompetence. A covert narcissist might act confused or clumsy to dodge responsibility, manipulating you into taking over tasks or solving their problems. It’s a low-effort way for them to avoid accountability while you pick up the slack.

7. Selective Amnesia

When it’s convenient, a covert narcissist will “forget” promises, conversations, or events that might expose their manipulations. This tactic lets them rewrite history, deflect blame, and make you question your memory. It’s a subtle way to escape accountability while keeping you second-guessing yourself.

8. Sabotaging Your Success

To maintain their sense of superiority, covert narcissists might subtly undermine your achievements. They’ll downplay your wins, offer backhanded compliments, or create obstacles to your goals. By keeping you down, they ensure you remain dependent on them for validation and are less likely to leave.

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