Narcissists see people as objects they use to meet their needs. When you no longer add value and serve a purpose to them, a narcissist starts to let go of the grip and slowly discards you. You may think your relationship with a narcissist seems good, and then the next day, you are thrown to the side as if you never mattered to them. You might think you’re responsible for it, but it’s always about the narcissist. So, what makes a narcissist discard you for good? And why do they do that?
Read until the end and learn 10 reasons why narcissists discard you for good.
Number 1: You were difficult for them to control.
They are all about control, they think they own you and they have a fear of losing it. Once they sense that you are too difficult to control, they feel threatened; they become frustrated about it and sometimes react with anger.
When narcissists can no longer control you, they’ll try to control how others see you. Before putting you away like a toy, they’ll poison the minds of others with anyone they influence, including your close family and friends. All the false information will feel unfair, no matter what stays above it.
Trust that the people will eventually see the truth, just like you did when you discovered the true identity of a narcissist. Once you identify their controlling tactics, you can steer or get out of their grasp and when it’s too difficult for them, they’ll discard you for good before you can discard them.
Number 2: You no longer fuel their ego.
Narcissists have inflated egos and see themselves as superior to others; they strive to be the best most accomplished and beyond competent in their field. They must be right, have the last word, and always be in control. Fueling their ego may be in the form of attention, validation, and compliments.
Once you stop providing this fuel, they may become angry or even aggressive. They may also try to manipulate or hurt you, to get the attention they crave. Once you decide not to give them these things, there is nothing that stops them from obtaining them elsewhere.
Once the narcissist finds a new victim, they will discard you for good. Sometimes, a narcissist gets a new victim while being with you, they have a safety net in case they fall or you decide to let go of them.
Number 3: You stop providing them with their supply.
Narcissistic supply is how narcissists cope with the world, allowing them to thrive. We all want to be heard and feel like we belong, but narcissists always seek this attention, they will purposely seek out or create situations in which they are the focus of attention regularly.
Without their narcissistic supply, the narcissist loses their identity and sense of self. When you’re with a narcissist, you’re not offering the companionship and love that most partnerships require. Instead, you are there to feed the narcissist’s ego, enhance their self-esteem, and feed their narcissistic supply.
They rely on others to meet their needs since they cannot do so themselves. When you stop giving them the supply they demand, narcissists will become agitated and depressed and find a way to completely discard you.
Number 4: You offended them in a way that damages their self-esteem.
The rules are different when dealing with the narcissist, a typical person may feel hurt, insulted, or angry when offended. Offending a narcissist, on the other hand, can have instant long-lasting, and possibly irreversible consequences.
Narcissists are extremely sensitive people with low self-esteem, offending them, even unintentionally, may cause them to permanently discard you. They have a distorted view of themselves, and they tend to interpret positive interactions as expected and negative interactions as personal attacks.
Narcissists live in a delusional state, perceiving offenses and criticism as attacks on them. They generally feel an inner emptiness and require attention and compliments to maintain their sense of reality.
Number 5: You find out their true identity and see them as weak individuals.
Narcissists have significant identity issues; their creation of a false persona is the main reason for their lack of identity. You are seen by the narcissist as a threat to their fictitious self. A narcissist will believe you are threatening his life and act accordingly.
The narcissist experiences fear if they see that you are becoming more observant and curious. Self-esteem is low in narcissists; on the outside, they present a strong self-assured image, but their fragility inside is due to past experiences.
The narcissists might permanently discard you if you ever learn of their weaknesses. When you reveal who they are, they develop a negative spot in their fragile ego and stew over it for days. Even if you are not insulting someone, they might think you are.
Number 6: You catch them lying and cheating and call them out.
It is not uncommon to catch narcissists lying and cheating; they constantly lie and cheat on their partners. Narcissists frequently cancel plans at the last minute and depart without a hint.
You could believe they’re just coping with problems they don’t want to discuss but are looking for new victims. A narcissist would immediately deny lying and cheating when you caught them, they’d make up many new lies to convince you they’ve been faithful.
Even if you have evidence, they are more likely to deny everything or even project their infidelity into you. Confronting them will cause them to explode into a narcissistic rage, but if you are unbothered and call them out or expose them for what they are, they will discard you like trash.
Number 7: You criticize and reject them.
Nobody enjoys being rejected; it’s a vulnerable and unpleasant event that can elicit deep feelings of uncertainty and inadequacy. However, to a narcissist, even the slightest rejection and criticism, represent the ultimate forms of betrayal.
They react in various ways, but nearly all involve manipulation or abuse. Some narcissists respond to rejection by abandoning you altogether. As a result, they typically rush into a new relationship; they are also attempting to convince themselves that they never needed you. Their portrayal of moving on does not imply that they have.
Number 8: You were too demanding of them.
Narcissists are undeniably self-absorbed and believe they are better than others, they think they’re above the rules and have the right to do anything they want. Narcissists demand a lot of attention yet are unwilling to reciprocate, they may listen impatiently to others, waiting to bring the conversation back to them, and they may one-up others or compete with loved ones.
Almost as if any good comes a loved one’s way. If someone makes requests of them, they eventually become irritable. A narcissist will ultimately decide to discard you for good, even if your requests and demands are too little compared to what they need.
Number 9: You are too possessive of them.
Narcissists are madly possessive individuals, they cannot love but possess. It is not about love, but it is more about control. For a narcissist you are a property they can control and primarily serve their needs, they want to be the dominant ones in every relationship.
But once you become like them, the narcissist will never be happy about it. Once you become one of those possessive ones, a narcissist will never care. They can discard you for good, for they don’t want to settle with someone with this thinking and attitude. After serving your purpose as a supply, they will never want to keep you for any reason. It simply means they are done with you, and you are useless to them.
Number 10: You establish clear boundaries.
A narcissist is used to getting their way, and will most likely put you under pressure to do whatever they want you to do. When you first start setting boundaries, there will be more pushback from them. They will eventually discover that you will not be intimidated into doing what they want; your boundaries will be interpreted as a narcissistic injury by the narcissist.
The consequences of announcing your independence will be severe. In essence, you’re fighting for yourself; you will have to give up your identity to avoid these penalties from your partner. Don’t waste another valuable minute of your life attempting to persuade someone to see, care for, validate, or love you more.
Instead, learn how to deal with the regret of being in a one-sided and painful relationship. Discarding you for good because you have clear boundaries has its share of benefits. Life is a whole lot better without a narcissist in your life.
Being with a narcissist may make you question your reality and needs; they are unable to comprehend how their actions and words influence others. A discard might feel abrupt, unexpected, and cruel.
Being discarded by them can be traumatic, making it feel like a devastating loss, they immediately had someone lined up next to you after pitching you, and the cycle of abuse continues with the next victim.
Read More: 6 Undeniable Signs A Narcissist Is Cheating on You
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